SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY…BUT I LIKE HER
Oh jeez, I can’t believe I’m actually writing you. If anyone finds out about this, I’m going to get so much shit. But I have this annoying problem that has popped up and now I’m trying to deal with it. My annoying problem is that my super annoying coworker/friend has suddenly become a little less annoying to me. Like despite the stupid stuff she says, ridiculous ideas she comes up with, and the amount she yammers on and on, I’m realizing that she’s actually pretty cool…and sexy. I’m really not sure if she’s into me and I could look like a complete idiot if I tell her how I’m feeling and she laughs at me. Like I would never live it down at the office. I’d probably need to pack up and move out of New York. But still, there’s some part of me that tells me that she might actually be great for me. Ugh. Do I tell her?
I Hate Talking About Feelings
Dear I Hate Talking About Feelings,
It may seem like you’re totally on your own with how you feel and that none of your guy friends would understand, but I doubt that’s true. Yes, I know that guys don’t really like talking about this mushy stuff but I’m sure you’re not the only one out there struggling with whether to tell a girl that you like her. So don’t feel so self-conscious about your feelings. They’re normal. And good.
It sounds like you two are definitely opposites but that’s not a bad thing. Opposites tend to balance each other out well in a relationship as long as they have some common ground on which they can connect. It sounds like you must have that if you described her as a coworker and friend. I assume being coworkers that you must at least enjoy the same thing professionally and being her friend means that you must enjoy doing at least some of the same things outside the office. So there’s definitely something there and even if your views of the world (and the amount of talking that is acceptable) are a bit different, it just means that you have space to be your own person and teach each other about new things.
I say go for it. Tell her. You may think she would laugh in your face but I know very few girls who would be that cruel. If you have a friendship foundation, the worst she’d probably do is tell you she doesn’t return the feelings and keep it between you two because she probably isn’t interested in ruining your friendship by blabbing about it to all of your friends. But what if she is into you? And she just hasn’t realized it yet or has been mulling over whether to tell you? She sounds like she might be a good yin to your yang. So suck it up and talk about your feelings.
Me vs. Elliptical Machine
6:00 AM: ALARM SOUNDS
6:01 AM: “Wow, just enough time to get a quick workout in. Nice!”
6:03 AM: “On second thought, how about, no…” [Rolls over.]
Me vs. Snooze Button
6:05 AM: ALARM SOUNDS
6:06 AM: “Shut up.” [Hits snooze]
6:45 AM: “Mmm probably should…
DATING WITHIN THE FRIENDSHIP CIRCLE
I’m not really the type to ask for dating advice but I really like this girl and she is way too good for me, but I can’t stop thinking about her. The problem is that my best friend has been into her forever and they dated for a long time. I have this feeling that they both think they’ll end up together someday. So I’ve tried to get over this crush but she is just too amazing to get over. I doubt she would ever go for me because I’m a screw-up and probably never going to be able to leave our town whereas she’s going places but every time I’m around her, I feel happy and she makes me feel like maybe I could be someone. So aside from her being totally out of my league and it potentially forever damaging my oldest friendship, it sounds like a great idea to ask her out, right?
Crushing in Capeside
Dear Crushing in Capeside,
Sounds like you have a few issues to tackle here. Probably the biggest is the relationship between your dream girl and your best friend. Dating within the friendship circle always brings complications but it’s basically inevitable because those are the people you hang out with and obviously enjoy being around. That being said, it’s a delicate situation to deal with because if you play it wrong, you could end up not only missing out on a romantic connection, but damaging really important friendships. There’s really only one solution: honesty.
Before you pursue your gal, talk to your friend and let him know about your feelings. He might give you the go-ahead or he might tell you over his dead body. If it’s the latter, you’ll have to ask yourself: is it worth it? And if you decide that it is, just be aware that it may be something that your friendship won’t recover from but at least you were up front and that might count for something when he calms down. But going behind his back will almost certainly end in friendship disaster.
In terms of whether she’s too good for you, that seems like you might just need a little boost of self-confidence. If she’s friends with you then she likes you enough to spend a lot of time with you so the possibility for that to move to the next level is very real. A relationship is about working as a team so together you can improve yourselves and each other. And what I’m hearing from you is how much you care for and admire her and those are great qualities to bring to a relationship.
And regarding your concern that your girl and your friend feel like they might end up together, it’s the old nothing ventured, nothing gained. I think for a lot of people there is someone like that to them but then they meet the person they are actually supposed to be with and all those feelings fade away. You could be that person for her but you’ll never know if you don’t make a move. So talk to your friend and then figure out what’s next. Good luck.
The SCAR Project is a series of large-scale portraits of young breast cancer survivors shot by fashion photographer David Jay. Primarily an awareness raising campaign, The SCAR Project puts a raw, unflinching face on early onset breast cancer while paying tribute to the courage and spirit of so many brave young women.
Dedicated to the more than 10,000 women under the age of 40 who will be diagnosed this year alone, The SCAR Project is an exercise in awareness, hope, reflection and healing.
THIS IS WHY I HATE THE CATCHY “SAVE THE TATAS” SAYING. A woman is not defined by whether she has breasts or not. We shouldn’t be worried about saving boobs. We should be worried about saving LIVES.
Equal Rights Amendment
President Jimmy Carter signs the legislation proposing the Equal Rights Amendment (ERA) before it was sent to the states for ratification in 1978. The Equal Rights Amendment was supported by those who believed that women did not have equal status to men in the United States and who hoped to force change. The ERA failed to gain ratification by the required number of states and therefore was not made into law.
Jimmy Carter signs House of Representative Resolution for Equal Rights Amendment., 10/20/1978
Ancient Eyes, watching you since before Christ.
Portrait Busts of Two Youths (detail), A.D. 60-70, Gallo-Roman. J. Paul Getty Museum.
Wine Cup with Eyes, about 520 B.C., Attributed to the Phineus Painter. J. Paul Getty Museum.
Head of Athena (detail), about 420 B.C., Greek. J. Paul Getty Museum.
Gregory Peck. From his comedies (Roman Holiday) to his thoughtful dramas (To Kill a Mockingbird), and even in his horror movie(s) (The Omen), this man was so talented, and was one of the best looking people ever. And he was sweet He insisted that Audrey Hepburn’s name be right up with his on all the Roman Holiday posters etc. even though she was a newcomer at the time. I love Gregory Peck, and I’m honored to share his birthday.
The Mark Twain Branch of the Detroit Public Libraries closed in 1996 for renovations and never reopened. What originally started as minor roof repair project grew into a total rehabilitation that went unfinished. Various efforts to revive the building never got past the drawing board, with the main concern being the “discovery” of asbestos. Some of the books left behind when the library closed were taken out and made available at the Mark Twain Annex, which is now facing permanent closure in 2011.
A final community meeting in July of 2011 sealed the fate of the Twain library. Over the objections of community leaders and residents, the DPL board confirmed that despite passing a tax levy that explicitly included funds to renovate the Twain library, it intended to demolish the building instead. Asbestos abatement started in September with demolition completed by October.